Today was a good day. Ms. Sara woke up at about 6:15 (again, the ass crack of dawn) and ten promptly took a small tumble down the stairs. Most of the time, she sits at the top of the stairs and yells for DADDY until he goes and gets her and brings her to our bed. Yesterday morning, she yelled a couple of times and then we heard her say over the monitor, "NEVER MIND!" and the next thing we know she climbs into our bed and tells us to "WAKE UP!" (Yes, every thing is at the top of her lungs, or so it seems when you are still trying to pry open your eyes and figure out what day it is). :)- Well, I have a feeling her new found Independence was short lived after taking the last two steps of the stairs in one fell swoop! Oh Well.
So, of course, this got her started off in a foul mood. But, we went off to experience a Kolache (for those non-Houston folks, that dough with eggs and sausage or a variety of other things stuffed inside) and then made our weekly trip to Wally World. Walmart at 8:30 on a Sunday morning is a fab time to shop. In fact, we can even let Sara out of the cart, and she held the list and "helped" with the shopping.
Once home, she played by herself while I read for a bit and daddy passed out for a nap. She then took a 2 1/2 hour nap and then spent the remainder of the afternoon playing with me in her blow up pool. Nigel just put her to bed and we will see if the streak of good bedtimes continues tonight.
Another thing I am starting to notice.... she has eaten me out of house and home today. Usually getting my tiny little bird to eat is a challenge (along with most other things). Today is actually asked for lunch and dinner and even once helped herself to a snack from the ice chest.
There was a small fit when it was time to get out of the pool for bed, but much better then it could have been, so I will call today a success.
As for me, this week is going to be a work challenge. I have a MAJOR project that will be completed on Friday, but between now and then.... it's going to be ugly. I am doing what I can to keep my stress from rubbing off on her and even promised a short swim in the pool after dinner tomorrow night if she has a good day at school (precious time I do not have), but it will be worth it to see her smile.
Still many miles to go, but the increased number of hours we have been able to sleep has helped keep things in perspective. This weekend is just what this family needed. We have one last weekend before the older kids begin to arrive for their summer stay. Two weeks to see how this medication works before we introduce the 8 weeks of controlled chaos of summer. :)
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Before I get to far behind...
I want to keep up with Sara's medication therapy and use my blog to document. She started her new meds on Wednesday night. She has been sleeping thru the night since then (which is super HUGE good news for Nigel and I). While she still wakes up at the ass crack of dawn, bedtime is MUCH easier as she falls right to sleep instead of an hour of doing whatever she can to avoid going to sleep. However, I have noticed that she is EXTREMELY emotional in the mornings. Even after sleeping 10-11 hours, she is very quick to whine and cry in the morning when things don't go her way.
This morning, we almost didn't go to the beach for fear of a day of meltdowns in public. BUT, after getting her something to eat and popping a DVD in, she was pretty quiet all the way to the beach. Even without a nap, she did well. A couple of times she crawled up in Nigel's lap in the shade and just about nodded off, but then would pop back up and be ready for more sand, sun and waves.
The girl has NO fear of water, and we had to keep a close eye on her several times. The other thing that struck both Nigel and I was that she played by herself for quite some time. Usually she wants one of use to entertain her, but today she sat at our feet and played in the sand for at least 30 minutes all by herself. That ended when she realized she was hot and was ready to head back to the water.
Tong ht when we got home she was EXHAUSTED. Bath time, at best, is usually filled with a lot of whining. Tonight, she let me take out her pony tails without a fight (usually a HUGE issue) and only cried when washing her hair. Bedtime was shortly thereafter, and Nigel and I haven't heard a peep out of her.
So, after a morning that was not looking good, the day turned out well. In fact it was so fun, we are hoping for good weather next weekend so that we can do it again. This time, mom and dad will be more frivolous with the sunscreen! :) We were so worried about Sara and the sun, we didn't take care of ourselves. Her new medication makes her sun sensitive, so we were SUPER, SUPER careful with her. She only got burned on one hand and one little butt cheek near the bathing suit line.
It was a good day. I think we all needed some sun, waves and sand.
This morning, we almost didn't go to the beach for fear of a day of meltdowns in public. BUT, after getting her something to eat and popping a DVD in, she was pretty quiet all the way to the beach. Even without a nap, she did well. A couple of times she crawled up in Nigel's lap in the shade and just about nodded off, but then would pop back up and be ready for more sand, sun and waves.
The girl has NO fear of water, and we had to keep a close eye on her several times. The other thing that struck both Nigel and I was that she played by herself for quite some time. Usually she wants one of use to entertain her, but today she sat at our feet and played in the sand for at least 30 minutes all by herself. That ended when she realized she was hot and was ready to head back to the water.
Tong ht when we got home she was EXHAUSTED. Bath time, at best, is usually filled with a lot of whining. Tonight, she let me take out her pony tails without a fight (usually a HUGE issue) and only cried when washing her hair. Bedtime was shortly thereafter, and Nigel and I haven't heard a peep out of her.
So, after a morning that was not looking good, the day turned out well. In fact it was so fun, we are hoping for good weather next weekend so that we can do it again. This time, mom and dad will be more frivolous with the sunscreen! :) We were so worried about Sara and the sun, we didn't take care of ourselves. Her new medication makes her sun sensitive, so we were SUPER, SUPER careful with her. She only got burned on one hand and one little butt cheek near the bathing suit line.
It was a good day. I think we all needed some sun, waves and sand.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
My husband, my rock
Nigel is a dream come true. This July we will celebrate three years of marriage. What a freaking CRAZY three years. We were living and married in New Jersey. Moved to the Portland area after Sara was born and then moved to Texas.
Thru it all, Nigel has always made me laugh, kept me on track, and has always made me feel like I was his one and only! If I had to describe him in three words they would be: funny, compassionate, dedicated. Nigel was also married before we met. He has two fabulous kids from his first marriage.
Working in IT, he is a computer geek by day, but his passion is music. He is a talented DJ, and has open my eyes to the world of music and the joy it brings to people. While there are times it drives me nuts (we have a laptop on our coffee table at all times so that he can be downloading music and working on CDs while he is watching TV.... that laptop on the coffee table drives me bananas), I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being able to sit in my office on Friday afternoons (his office closes early on Fridays) and listen to him in his music room playing on the turntables.
Getting pregnant with Sara was a total surprise to the both of us, but he is a super dad. Without Nigel holding down the home front I would never be successful doing what I do for work. I can walk away from this house for weeks at a time and know that when I come home, my littlest sweetheart will be well loved and well taken care of.
Nigel is the biggest blessing in my life and I would never trade him for anything!
Thru it all, Nigel has always made me laugh, kept me on track, and has always made me feel like I was his one and only! If I had to describe him in three words they would be: funny, compassionate, dedicated. Nigel was also married before we met. He has two fabulous kids from his first marriage.
Working in IT, he is a computer geek by day, but his passion is music. He is a talented DJ, and has open my eyes to the world of music and the joy it brings to people. While there are times it drives me nuts (we have a laptop on our coffee table at all times so that he can be downloading music and working on CDs while he is watching TV.... that laptop on the coffee table drives me bananas), I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being able to sit in my office on Friday afternoons (his office closes early on Fridays) and listen to him in his music room playing on the turntables.
Getting pregnant with Sara was a total surprise to the both of us, but he is a super dad. Without Nigel holding down the home front I would never be successful doing what I do for work. I can walk away from this house for weeks at a time and know that when I come home, my littlest sweetheart will be well loved and well taken care of.
Nigel is the biggest blessing in my life and I would never trade him for anything!
About Me
Not sure where to begin, except to say, I am the mom of a crazy, wonderful, full household.
I am 34 and married to my rock, Nigel. I have been married before and was divorced years ago. Without giving away to many details, I am a career mom that travels. I have worked for the same company for about 6 years now, and have been promoted twice. I love my job and am grateful for the ability to have kept my job and work from a home office when we decided to move to Texas about 6 months ago.
I am a statistic in every sense of the word. I came from a divorced family, have suffered physical and mental abuse over the years, suffered thru infertility, am an adoptive parent, divorced, jobless, had a surprise pregnancy, have moved across the country three times in about 5 years, and am a step parent. WHEW! I am sure there are more statistics that I fall into, but I can't remember them at the moment.
In addition to all that, I also have depression/bipolar disorder. And THAT is the first time I have ever admitted that publicly. I received my own diagnosis more then 8 years ago. In that time, I have become one of the success stories and haven't let my problems hold me back. Of course, I had some very dark times when I was diagnosed, but have a saying that I live by.... "you can be the victim or the victor." I choose to be the victor, and have been moving forward ever since.
That isn't to say every thing is always rosey in my life, but thru medication management and therapy, I have FAR, FAR more good days then bad. There are times I struggle, but most days it doesn't even bother me.
There is such a stigma about people with bipolar. The stigma paints people as always dark and depressed and basically all around mopey people. I agree that there are some people who allow their bipolar to rule them, and not the other way around. There are some very successful people in this world who are bipolar and you wouldn't even know it. I think much of the time, I am one of those people.
I am sure I will have much more to say about myself later on, but for now... bipolar is genetic... and it has affected my precious princess Sara. Currently, I am struggling to not let this overwhelm me, and have been attempting to push away the feelings of "mommy guilt" for the last several days. I wouldn't change my life for anything, but I am sad that my daughter will live with this awful diease for the rest of her life.
I am 34 and married to my rock, Nigel. I have been married before and was divorced years ago. Without giving away to many details, I am a career mom that travels. I have worked for the same company for about 6 years now, and have been promoted twice. I love my job and am grateful for the ability to have kept my job and work from a home office when we decided to move to Texas about 6 months ago.
I am a statistic in every sense of the word. I came from a divorced family, have suffered physical and mental abuse over the years, suffered thru infertility, am an adoptive parent, divorced, jobless, had a surprise pregnancy, have moved across the country three times in about 5 years, and am a step parent. WHEW! I am sure there are more statistics that I fall into, but I can't remember them at the moment.
In addition to all that, I also have depression/bipolar disorder. And THAT is the first time I have ever admitted that publicly. I received my own diagnosis more then 8 years ago. In that time, I have become one of the success stories and haven't let my problems hold me back. Of course, I had some very dark times when I was diagnosed, but have a saying that I live by.... "you can be the victim or the victor." I choose to be the victor, and have been moving forward ever since.
That isn't to say every thing is always rosey in my life, but thru medication management and therapy, I have FAR, FAR more good days then bad. There are times I struggle, but most days it doesn't even bother me.
There is such a stigma about people with bipolar. The stigma paints people as always dark and depressed and basically all around mopey people. I agree that there are some people who allow their bipolar to rule them, and not the other way around. There are some very successful people in this world who are bipolar and you wouldn't even know it. I think much of the time, I am one of those people.
I am sure I will have much more to say about myself later on, but for now... bipolar is genetic... and it has affected my precious princess Sara. Currently, I am struggling to not let this overwhelm me, and have been attempting to push away the feelings of "mommy guilt" for the last several days. I wouldn't change my life for anything, but I am sad that my daughter will live with this awful diease for the rest of her life.
Finding the Balance
On Tuesday, May 26th, my youngest was diagnosed with Bipolar-NOS. Sara is 3 and half. Needless to say, this was a kick in the chest, and as we begin to travel down an unknown path, I hope that this blog becomes part therapy for me, and part record of Sara's ups and downs.
Over the next several days, I hope that I will find the time to write about Sara, my family, and Sara's background that lead to this diagnosis.
We hope that whoever comes in contact with this blog finds hope or a place in their hearts. We hope to find others struggling with the same issues and would love to connect with other parents.
For now, we need many prayers and God's wisdom to intervene as we begin down a winding road of unknown.
Over the next several days, I hope that I will find the time to write about Sara, my family, and Sara's background that lead to this diagnosis.
We hope that whoever comes in contact with this blog finds hope or a place in their hearts. We hope to find others struggling with the same issues and would love to connect with other parents.
For now, we need many prayers and God's wisdom to intervene as we begin down a winding road of unknown.
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